Be Supportive or Be Quiet!


I fell asleep last night in front of the television (a common occurrence with me and even more so since my recent carpal tunnel surgery).  I woke up to the sound of my cell phone vibrating and beeping and pinging with notifications from Twitter, Facebook, etc.  Hesitantly and (a little) fearfully, I began to read the notifications.

As I read, my eyes filled with tears.  The physical pain in my hand was swept away by the intense emotional pain I felt as I read how the Church I love has decided that the children of our LGBTQIA sisters and brothers cannot “receive a name and a blessing” and cannot be “baptized and confirmed, ordained, or recommended for missionary service” unless they renounce and disavow their parents and receive permission from the First Presidency.

I cannot imagine having to explain to my child why he or she cannot be baptized.  I cannot imagine as a teenager being told that I would have to disown my parents or disavow our family in order to be accepted in my church.  I cannot imagine the pain or the anguish that so many of our sisters and brothers who want to continue to be part of the LDS Church are feeling.

All I can do is open my arms and my heart and let my sisters and brothers know that they are loved and that they are wanted.  I can acknowledge that this new policy is a vile and violent act and that no part of it is worthy of being adopted by a church that includes the name of Jesus Christ in its name.  I can mourn with my brothers and sisters and I can bear their burdens.  I can let them cry, talk, scream, or all three.

What I do not need to do is to detract from their pain by drawing any sort of comparisons with any pain I am feeling or I have felt or with situations that I or others have experienced.  Their pain is not a game.  It is not a competition.  I will not make them feel better by making someone else feel worse.

I simply need to step up and be there for them and with them.

I invite each of you to do the same.  If you cannot, I invite you to be quiet.

7 responses to “Be Supportive or Be Quiet!

  1. Are there other people in your church who feel the same way that you do about this policy? I don’t know how church politics/hierarchy works, but maybe you all could form a committee and strategize ways to petition the church leaders to change the policy.


    • Alex, thank you for your comment and your suggestion. We are brainstorming and working on a plan. Bryndis

      Liked by 1 person

      • Awesome. I hope that you are able to make some progress. That is such a demoralizing policy. It also sounds really difficult and sensitive to navigate within a church environment. Good luck!


  2. I like that alex came up with an idea of how to keep with the church you love and also support the affected people. I hope it works out. Wouldn’t it be hard to reconcile being supportive to our LGBTQIA friends, while also supporting a church that does this to them?


  3. I have been praying earnestly about this. This morning as soon as I rose from my knees, my eyes fell on this scripture: “wherefore, all children are alike unto me; wherefore, I love little children with a perfect love; and they are all alike and partakers of salvation.” Moroni 8:17. Then I turned to this scripture, “wherefore, it is awful wickedness to deny the pure mercies of God unto them, for they are all alive in him because of his mercy.” Moroni 8:19. “Also, wherefore, little children are whole, for they are not capable of committing sin; wherefore the curse of Adam is taken from them in me, that it hath no power over them;” (Moroni 8:8) Little children are whole; could it not be more clear?

    And in Moroni 716-17: “For behold, the Spirit of Christ is given to every man, that he may know good from evil; wherefore, I show unto you the way to judge; for every thing which inviteth to do good, and to persuade to believe in Christ, is sent forth by the power and gift of Christ; wherefore ye may know with a perfect knowledge it is of God. But whatsoever thing persuadeth men to do evil, and believe not in Christ, and deny him, and serve not God, then ye may know with a perfect knowledge it is of the devil.” Is denying ordinances to children inviting them to do good and believe in Christ? Is not denying baptism and ordinances to people a way of denying Christ?

    Jesus expressly said to his Apostles: “Forbid them not” meaning they should not forbid children to come unto Him. This is our doctrine from the New Testament and reinforced in the Book of Mormon.


  4. Strange that you didn’t seem to have a problem with the policy when it applied to children of polygamist families. Which it has for the past one hundred years.


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